Fear

Photo borrowed from: HERE

I am paralyzed with fear. Fear of change, fear of M's immaturity, just fear. I have no other excuse for not having filed for divorce after 3 years. After all, reconciliation was something I never wanted. And now, with M filled with anger, irrational and on the path of war, the fear is overwhelming. Life CAN get harder. Life WILL get harder.

I am seriously looking at filing my divorce papers by the end of the year.

Having taken on so many of our joint obligations i am really strapped for cash. There are other issues/considerations too. Regardless, I am trying to evaluate if, as an ex litigation paralegal, I should go pro per, or if I should look for an attorney.


Ahhh. The fear. I have spent my life trying to be always fair to those around me. Now, I am faced with a possible irrational adversary. I am scared!

On a much more short term basis: I dread picking up and dropping of lil' A right now. I leave to get him in 30 mins. My chest is so tight at the prospect of dealing with M, I could pass out.

A weekend with lil' A will fix it all!